This happened last night on FB. The person with the face and name censored is the Malaysian. I’m not censored, obviously.
Damn it Malaysia, can’t you wait till Singapore builds the first nuclear power plant in South East Asia? WE MUST BE FIRST!!!!!
Warning: long blog post ahead. But some pictures to entertain you too.
A couple of days ago, I blogged about the Blogfather mission.
For those who have no idea what the mission is about, read Part 1 and Part 2 before continuing with this final chapter.
For those who are in the know, read on.
So what happened to the Blogfather? The answer lies below
Taken from Kryxx on Reddit.com
The Blogfather is dead.
I had to put a picture of a gummy bear because the real one was too grisly. But you get the idea.
In his place, will be my blog and I will reign supreme. I shall be the Ah Long of all Ah Longs, the Bak Chor Mee man of all Bak Chor Mee men and women and the new emeritus junior Blogfather (I’m not that old yet. Still in my early twenties).
I shall be the new l’infantile terrible of Singapore.
Now kneel down and kiss my hand.
But how? How did mrbrown, one of the apex Singaporean bloggers, fall into the hands of a young upstart?
Well…
Actually, he never did.
I was the one who failed the mission. No shooting, stabbing, manslaughter or murder ever took place.
So what happened?
First, let’s backtrack to Monday:
Locating mrbrown’s place of accommodation.
On Monday afternoon/ evening, mrbrown uploaded a twitpic showing a clock tower. When I saw the picture, I went into overdrive mode. I knew I’ve seen that clock tower somewhere. I knew it was somewhere in the Sydney CBD but I just could not remember where it was.
Stumped, I asked my housemate for help. At first, she was bemused that after staying near the Sydney CBD for nearly 2 years, I still did not know the location of the damn clock. So she made me guess.
After half hour of guessing, I gave up. I still did not know the location of the clock.
My housemate finally relented and told me that mrbrown was probably staying at the Westin Sydney, since from the angle of the photo, that was the only place where he could have took a photo of the clock.
Fired up by that clue, I started Googling for all hotels, apartments and hostels around Martin Place (where the clock is located). I went to this website and they listed five hotels (the Westin included) around Martin Place.
To make sure that the Westin was indeed the hotel mrbrown was staying at, I fired up Google Maps and started comparing the locations of all five hotels in respective to the location of the clock tower.
After about 45 minutes of scrutinizing the maps, I came to a conclusion that the Westin was the right place. 10 minutes later, my housemate told me that she show the twitpic to a friend that did hospitality and hotel management. When her friend saw the twitpic, the friend told my housemate that from the angle of the pic, there was only one possible place:
The Westin Sydney.
So I decided to head over to the Westin Sydney the next day.
The hunt is on.
Tuesday:
So after waking up at noon, instead of 6am like I intended, I headed over to the Westin, but not before having a fulfilling lunch at Hungry Jacks. I think it was sometime around 3pm when I got to the Westin. However, I ran into an obstacle: there were two exits.
While I was loitering around the main entrance, which exited onto Pitt Street, I could not keep an eye on the second, smaller door which exited onto George Street, as my line of sight was blocked by a restaurant. But I decided to take my chance and wait at the main entrance.
So I loitered around the lobby for about 20 minutes, watching the lifts and the exits. After 20 minutes, I came to a conclusion that mrbrown was not in the Westin and probably went for the SPARC 2011 convention at Darling Island Wharf. I checked the SPARC official website last night and knew the location of the convention.
I left the Westin and started walking towards Darling Island. Walking there from Martin Place would take me half hour. But I didn’t want to take the bus as the CDB’s roads was always jammed.
I made it to Darling Island and saw the convention going on in full swing. There were crowds and crowds of people in casual business suits and smart casual attire. I spent half hour outside the convention, tolerating the winter wind, while trying to keep a lookout for mrbrown. I checked mrbrown’s tweets to make sure he was still in the convention. He was there, but hiding in the convention room.
Smart man.
I wasn’t chased away from the staff since the convention took place next to a wharf and a small park. So I was more or less on public grounds. Furthermore, in order to reduce suspicious, I behaved like a tourist and snapped a few photos:
Sydney’s skyline. Click on pic for a larger image.
Sydney Harbour Bridge in the distance. Click on pic for a larger image.
After waiting in the blustery winter evening, with no sight of mrbrown, I gave up and rushed to Starbucks to have some hot mocha to warm myself up. Another reason for not staying longer was that I was going to meet my friends at Circular Quay to experience Vivid Sydney 2011. Walking from Darling Island to Circular Quay will probably take me about 40 minutes.
To add insult to my wounded pride, mrbrown tweeted about having dinner at the Flying Fish Restaurant when I was approaching Circular Quay. If only I stayed longer, I could have caught him. But no… mrbrown chose to come out of the convention when I was a 40 minutes walk away.
So I didn’t get mrbrown on Tuesday. But I did have a pretty awesome time at Vivid Sydney. Here are some crappy, blurry photos I took:
Circular Quay Station all lit up, in red.
Some fire dancing to Katy Perry’s “Fireworks”. More info here.
An exhibit at Vivid about the moon.
This is a cool one. It’s powered by solar energy. So if you use your camera flash, the bells will light up with colourful light and music.
The Custom House decorated in light.
My friend and I on a lit bench.
It is the same bench that mrbrown planked on. I wanted to plank on the bench but there were too many people around. Sigh, I can’t even copycat mrbrown.
Some wire car next to Sydney Opera House.
So after Vivid Sydney, I went to Max Brenner’s cafe with two friends of mine who were visiting, before heading home. But before I went home, I loitered around the Westin, hoping that mrbrown would turn up. He never did. Dejected, my weary feet dragged my sorry ass back home.
I complained to my housemate who told me what my problem was: staying at one place for an extremely short amount of time. She said that true stalkers camp at one place for hours at time. She told me that to improve my chances of bumping into him, I should go to the hotel at 7am in the morning and camp there.
Like hell I am.
But she did make a good point, so I made a mental note to try and wake up as early as possible. Before I went to bed, mrbrown tweeted about being in Chinatown. I stay pretty close to Chinatown and it was only about 20 minutes walk. I stood next to my bed, debating whether I should go to Chinatown and hunt mrbrown down.
Fuck it, I thought, I’m cold, tired and spent half the day walking around the entire Sydney’s CBD. I’m not going to spend another hour chasing mrbrown around Chinatown. So I went to bed.
Wednesday:
I woke up at 11am. Late again. Feeling a bit dejected, I went to SPARC website to check out the itinerary for the day. Apparently lunch was from 1300hrs to 1350hrs. I had a hurried brunch, fed my rats, took a quick shower and changed into something proper.
As everyone at the convention was in casual business attire or smart casual, I decided to dress smart casual in order to blend in. So I dressed up, looking every inch like a yuppie.
It was about a half hour walk from my place to Darling Island. I reached there around 1345 hrs (1:45pm) and there were still people milling outside the convention. I took a slow, unhurried walk among them. Unfortunately, mrbrown was not among the lunch crowd.
A smart, cautious man.
Not deterred, I went to a cafe next to the convention and ordered a large mocha. I sat outside the cafe for two hours, trying to make the mocha last. In that two hours, I saw no signs of mrbrown.
Frustrated, I finished up my mocha and dallied in front of the convention entrance.
Then I saw him.
Or I think I saw him.
I’m not sure if it was him though, I was standing about 50 metres away and he was surrounded by business-looking people. The only thing I could see was his side profile. As I hesitated, he turned and walked down the side of the building.
I hesitated, unsure of what to do.
So I called my housemate.
“I think I saw mrbrown!”
“Oh. You saw mrbrown. So did you take a photo?”
“No, I didn’t. I said I think I saw him. It may be him. It may not be him.”
“So is mrbrown there?”
“Yes, he is. Wait, are you in the library? Never mind, I call you back.”
I decided to chase after mrbrown, so I brisk-walked to the side of the building. But mrbrown was no where to be seen. Somehow he vanished.
What the…
Goddamn it, I’ve lost him.
I knew mrbrown would be around the convention, but I didn’t want to hang around any longer. It was very cold that day, and suit jacket was not giving enough warmth. Frustrated, I went home, hid under my blanket and took a nap.
My housemate came back in the evening and asked if I managed to get mrbrown.
“No. I though I saw him and when I finally went after him, he disappeared.”
“Oh, you could have went straight up to him when you saw him.”
I shrugged my shoulder, “Well, I don’t think I’m going to chase him down anymore.”
My housemate laughed, “So you broke your Twitter virginity for nothing.”
Damn right.
Despite two days of walking around Sydney’s CBD and obsessive twittering, I failed in my mission.
So I admitted defeat and took the easiest way out: tweeting him directly.
Saturday, 12:37am:
Today, I tweeted mrbrown asking if I could get a photo and his autograph. If you can’t beat the Blogfather, join him. And save your Twitter virginity for someone better.
Therefore, I leave you with the final debriefing on the Blogfather mission:
Debriefing on identifying mrbrown’s locations in Sydney, NSW
Selected point man: Zareth Lim
Target: mrbrown
Target’s last known location: Don’t give a fuck anymore.
Mission goal: Get mrbrown’s photo and autograph.
Current status: Case pending closure.
Method: Tweeted mrbrown directly.
There, all done.
Jokes aside, I want to let everyone know that this was just done for fun. People may think “Yeah, right, you’re stalker, Zareth. Admit it.”
You know what, I did notice by the end of the first day that I was bordering on stalkerish, creepy behaviour. When I first told my housemate that I was going to chase after mrbrown, she told me I was a stalker. When I told my friend at Vivid that I was chasing mrbrown, she said: “wow, you really idolized him.”
Although mrbrown is one of my favourite bloggers, I don’t idolize him to the point where I have his pictures on my wall and underwear. Truth.
On Tuesday night, as I was debating whether I should camp outside the Westin early in the morning, what struck me was how this simple joke could become such an obsession for me. It was frightening, really. It didn’t felt like me but my Twitter updates only confirmed this obsession:
On Tuesday alone, I twitted 7 tweets about mrbrown.
What the fuck.
So I want to state again, that this whole thing was just for fun. And if mrbrown somehow read this blog, I just want to say that I never intended to intrude into your personal privacy.
So I’m calling this so-called ‘mission’ to a close. I know I just twitted mrbrown that I want his photo and autograph. But that was more to let him be aware and to seek for his permission. Even if he said yes, I probably would not meet up him because, really, as much as I admire him, I have better things to do. This whole mrbrown affair, in my opinion, just became a farce.
So yep, no more blogfather mission or “somebody else” mission for that matter. Nope, nada, zilch.
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I want to remind you that the voting for best WTH blog is still ongoing until 3rd July!
So vote for me! Voters will get to win prizes too!
You’ll need to sign in or register before you can vote. (Just a quick FYI: only Singaporeans and Singapore PR eligible to vote, part of the competition’s rules).
Some of my friends said they couldn’t find the voting button. I suggest using Mozilla Firefox browser if you have trouble finding the button.
The link to vote for me is here and you should see this:
So get your voting mojo on!
While you’re voting for me, vote for Estelle’s blog too! She blogged about me (I’m under “Mr Toilet Seat Welcomes You”) and is asking her readers and friends to vote for me (Thanks!). Vote for her blog in the Best Lifestyle category.
And vote for the Cambelles in the Best Social Media Integrated Blog.
That’s all folks. Now quit stalking me.
I have located the Blogfather’s accommodation in Sydney. Using a twitpic posted by the Blogfather himself, my housemates and I used Google maps to confirmed his current place of residence in Sydney. Thus the status of the mission is upgraded to ongoing:
Debriefing on identifying mrbrown’s locations in Sydney, NSW
Selected point man: Zareth Lim
Target: mrbrown
Target’s last known location: Planking at SPARC 2011, somewhere around Sydney CBD (Circular Quay)
Mission goal: To locate mrbrown in Sydney and get a photo together with him and his autograph
Current status: Ongoing
Method: Twitter updates, Google mapping and good old fashion leg work.
Soon, soon I will meet with the Blogfather. It’s only a matter of patience and perseverance. The 2 powerful Ps, I call them.
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That aside, I just want to let you know that I am one of the top 10 finalists in the Best What-The-Hell blog category! This is exciting, I’ve never been in any major competition before and to have my barely two-years-old blog as one of the finalist is nothing sort of awesome, especially in a competition like the Singapore Blog Awards 2011.
First, I would like to thank Alvin for nominating my blog. I’ve blogged about my nomination, where I did a bit of sleuthing to verify if this competition was…ahem…legit. Turned out it was and I registered my blog in the competition. So thanks, Alvin!
I would also like to thank the judges who have the foresight to choose my blog as one of the top 10 finalists or else I’ll go all private detecting on their asses. Nah, kidding, I don’t have a lot of free time now. I’m suppose to be studying for my last two papers actually. But thanks, judges!
However, the game is not over yet. You see, the overall winner for each category will be determined 70% by a panel of professional judges. I’ve passed that hurdle. The other 30% will be determined by the public.
So yes, this is a shameless plug from me. I need your votes. You can vote for me once a day, every day from 6 June 2011 to 3 July 2011. Tell your family, friends, relatives, SO, even your superiors, because together, we can keep the rants flowing. Together, we can forge a brighter and greater future for this blog. Together, you and I.
So spread the word!
Plug end.
“But how do I vote?”
Excellent question, I have provided links for easy access. The links are here and here. All you need to do is to click on the “VOTE NOW!” button:
Unfortunately, the voting is only open to Singaporeans and Singapore PRs. Not my rules, sorry.
So that’s all, people. Remember to vote for me! I’ve just broke my Twitter virginity about 24 hours ago (due to the Blogfather’s unexpected arrival in Sydney), so you can follow me on Twitter. Just click on the Twitter button on the right.
Good night, and good luck.
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This is how I feel right now. I know I shouldn’t be elated when it’s not over yet but I can’t help it:
I was observing and monitoring mrbrown’s activities on his blog when I saw that he blogged about his imminent arrival in Sydney.
The Blogfather of Singapore is coming to Sydney.
My town, my area, my territory.
The official reason stated that mrbrown is coming to Sydney is because he’s attending two events: Vivid Sydney and the SPARC International Lightning Event 2011.
But I’m sure this is all just a front for other ‘activities’ for him to consort with his fellow associates (i.e. eating and eating). One can never be too suspicious.
After recovering from the initial adrenaline rush that mrbrown is coming to Sydney, I started preparing for my mission. I went to my battered Macbook and typed in the following:
Debriefing on identifying mrbrown’s locations in Sydney, NSW
Selected point man: Zareth
Target: mrbrown.
Target’s last known location: Onboard an unknown flight, heading towards Kingsford Airport, Sydney.
Mission goal: To locate mrbrown in Sydney and get a photo together with him.
Current status: Incomplete
Method: Inconclusive. Pending further notifications from point man.
The debriefing may seem short but that’s because I’ve just started compiling a case file given the short time notice. I must admit, I got stumped at the methodology of following and locating mrbrown in Sydney. So I methodically went through my options for locating mrbrown in the most efficient manner.
Facebook? I searched for mrbrown using his blog moniker ‘mrbrown’ and his real name. Search results turned out to be inconclusive.
Foursquare? No, I don’t really fancy revealing my positions on Foursquare. Besides, I’m not sure if mrbrown has a Foursquare account.
Following him through his blog? No, it won’t do. I need instant updates on his location.
This left me with one option:
Twitter.
Goddamn it.
Twitter was the only way I could follow and track mrbrown’s every movement instantaneously. However, I have a love-hate relationship with Twitter. Actually, take that back. I never had a relationship with Twitter.
I desperately scrawled through mrbrown’s blog for other means that he can be tracked but it proved futile. Twitter was the only way. I was going to have to break my Twitter virginity.
I let out a frustrated sigh but it had to be done. So I signed up and became part of the massive crowd’s chirping:
Now that I became part of Twitter, I decided to issue a challenge to the Blogfather, also known as the Bak Chor Mee man. It was the honourable thing to do. To creep up behind a man was the coward’s way of doing things. I had to let the Blogfather be aware that I was tracking his movements. So I sent out my very first tweet:
He did received my tweet. I made sure of it.
Now that the challenge have been issued, the preparations have been completed, I can lie low and wait. Yet, I still feel a sense of restless dread, like someone else is in hot pursuit of me, and I have become the fugitive instead of the pursuer, fleeing for my very life. And I have no idea who that someone is…
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This has become my favourite song to relax to. My brother introduced this song to me when I was convalescing after a failed mission.
May 21st came and went.
The Rapture did not happen.
Rapture? What Rapture?
Wait, what is a Rapture?
It is not a rapture, it is the Rapture. According to Christian theology, or more accurately, the premillennial theology, the Rapture is an event where God takes up his elected people to heaven before the end of the world. So basically when the Rapture happens, all of God’s elected people will disappear from the face of earth and go to heaven.
Just like that, poof!
So what has May 21st got to do with the Rapture?
Well, this American Christian radio host, Harold Camping, predicted that the Rapture will occur on 21st May 2011 and that the end of the world will take place four months later on 21st October 2011. He predicted that the Rapture will occur across the world at 6pm local time, “…sweeping the globe time zone by time zone.” Wiki link here.
It’s as if God decided to have the Rapture while respecting our time zones. I can imagine this scene taking place in Heaven:
GOD: “The time is nigh! I shall call my elected people to be with me! Begin the Rapture now! Earth will… what’s that, Gabriel? Time zones? “
Gabriel: “Lord, you have forgotten that humans measure their day according to different time zones. “
GOD: “Oh, thank you for reminding me, Gabriel. Let’s start again, shall we? Ahem, one, two. The time has come! The Rapture shall begin at 6pm local time!”
Wait a minute, isn’t God infallible? So if Gabriel corrected God and God accepted the correction, doesn’t it means that God has become fallible? And if all existence rest on the assumption that God is infallible, doesn’t Gabriel’s action proves that God is fallible and thus negating existence? I guess this is the part where Metatron goes: “My Lord, NOooooo……”
(Kevin Smith’s movie reference).
Another thing, does God includes Daylight Saving Time?
Anyway, Since I stay in Sydney, Australia, I had the honour of getting front row seats to see the Rapture.
6pm came and went.
Nothing happened. There were no news of mass panic on the streets of Sydney (except from the usual weekend crowds) and life went on as usual. As Earth rotated on its axis to complete its… rotation, there were no news of Rapture taking place in other countries.
May 21st came and went.
So what went wrong?
I have two theories on why the Rapture did not take place. Bear with me.
The first theory involves Lee Hsien Loong’s swearing in ceremony. On May 21st, Prime Minster Lee Hsien Loong and his Cabinet were sworn into office.
I have a strong feeling that the PAP must had an agreement with God to postpone the Rapture. After all, you can’t have any event overshadowing the swearing in ceremony. Imagine this:
Gabriel: “The time now is SGT 6pm, UTC +0800 hours. Location, Singapore.”
GOD: “Begin the Raptur….”
Lee Hsien Loong: “Wah piang, eh. Don’t like that, eh, God. Can postpone or not? Today my swearing in ceremony as Prime Minister.”
GOD: “Give me one good reason why I should postpone the Rapture.”
Lee Hsien Loong: “My father is Lee Kuan Yew.”
GOD: “Oh… very well then.”
The second theory is that Lee Kuan Yew asked God to postpone the Rapture for five years so as to allow the Aljunied voters to reflect on their mistake and repent:
Gabriel: “The time now is SGT 6pm, UTC +0800 hours. Location, Singapore.”
GOD: “Begin the Raptur….”
Lee Kuan Yew: “Not yet!”
GOD: “Oh, I damn it! What is it now?”
Lee Kuan Yew: “You have to change the date of the Rapture.”
GOD: “There better be a good reason for this.”
Lee Kuan Yew: “Aljunied. They have not repent yet. I’ll need five more years.”
See lah, Aljunied, who asked you to vote for Opposition? Now you screwed up God’s schedule.
Sorry, Harold Camping, you had your predictions derailed because of one small, city-state in Southeast Asia.
But if the Rapture were to happen, I would prefer if it happens this way:
GOD: “Release Kirby.”
Gabriel: “Lord?”
GOD: “Release Kirby!”
Gabriel: “But why, Lord?”
GOD: “RELEASE KIRBY!”
Taken from Daily Doodly
So watch out for the pink, fluffy ball in the sky.