FAQ

Hi Zareth, thanks for taking the time to do this interview.

No probs

Important question. What are you doing in a rusty bathtub?

Sleeping. Isn’t it pretty obvious from the picture?

Okay… but, I mean how the hell did you ended up there? And fully clothed?

Did you watched the Hangover movies? Yeah something like that happened. Except I have no recollection of what happened since I didn’t have a camera on me and my phone was smashed to smithereens by my buttocks. But safe to say, it was one hell of a night. I now have a pet crocodile named Steve Irwin in honour of Steve Irwin.

Whoa, seriously?

Totes, mate.

You sick cunt.

Thanks brah. Except it’s not true.

What?

What did your parents tell you about trusting people on the Internet? None of the above happened. I was in the bathtub fully clothed because I was making a video to get people to vote for my blog.

So how the hell did you get a tub??

It was just there in the backyard when I moved into my previous house. Honest.

Okay… sure. I’ve noticed that your blog was one of the Finalists for “Best What-the-Hell” blog in the 2011 Singapore Blog Awards. Could you describe more about that?

Funny story that. I got an automated email stating that my blog was nominated by a certain person for the “What-the-Hell” category. So what did I do? I emailed that person and accused him of being a spambot.

Why?

I guessed I was in shock. My blog was only 2 years at that time and I wasn’t a very active blogger.

So did that person reply you? Or was it just another spambot?

Yeah the person replied. It turned out to be Alvin, the founder of the Singapore Blog Awards.

Oh man…

Hey man, it turned out all good.

Damn, that’s good to hear. So did you win?

No. I didn’t get enough votes. Apparently only Singaporeans and Permanent Residents could vote in the competition. And the few Singaporeans friends I had weren’t too keen to vote because they had to register their National Identification Number just to vote.

Whoa, the voting process sounds complicated

The voting process is simple. It’s the registration process that is tedious. But I’m not blaming it on the voting or registration process. I simply didn’t have a huge Singaporean readership base at that point.

So why did Alvin nominated your blog for the “Best What-the-Hell” category? And what exactly is that category about?

Well, that category is for blogs that make you go “what the fuck” when you read them. And for some reason, I was at the point in life when I was blogging about toilet bowls and rats’ shits.

You sick fuck

Have you ever had pet rats before?

Er… no.

Then you’ll be amazed how much poop those buggers can produce.

Okay fair enough, but what about the toilet bowls???

No comment.

I mean what can possibly make you blog about-

I SAID NO COMMENT.

Okay, okay, okay. Jeez. I’ve noticed that for the entire of 2013, your blog went silent. Why’s that?

I had nothing to say.

Oh not the “no comment” bullshit again.

I said I had nothing to say. Simply put, I didn’t feel like blogging and decided to take a short break. That short break became longer and longer. Before I knew it, 2013 had passed.

So what made you return to blogging?

I thought one year was a long enough break.

Which blog posts would you recommend to a first time visitor of your blog?

Hmmm… tough question. But I believe these are the posts that best capture the essence of the blog. In no particular order of importance:

Okay that’s quite a lot of posts

Yeah I know.

If you only had to choose one post, just one. What would that be?

One? Then I would say Saying goodbye to Unimates in style. Partly because that was one of the best blog writing I did (aside from “Religion, Donation and Alleged Corruption”) but it also really encapsulate the style and tone of my blog writing.

I realized that your blog don’t just focus on one topic. You blog all over the place.

Yeah, never intended to just focus on one area. Where’s the fun in that?

You also have the tendency of not finishing what you start and taking blogging hiatus all the time.

Yeah… that, I’m a lazy blogger.

Anyone you want to apologize because of your laziness?

Don’t think so.

You sure?

Well okay, I would like to apologize to Mike Thomas, the filmmaker of the documentary Living with the Tiger. Mike approached me way back in 2011 to write a review for his documentary film about a Thai children centre that took care of Thai children who were either abandoned by their family because they were HIV positive or orphaned because their parents died from AIDS. Mike sent me his film and I promised to review it but never did.

So, I’m sorry Mike. If you would like to read about the film, do read Alex Au’s review. (Warning: spoilers, lots of it).

Last question before we wrap up. It seems that based on your blog, you’re mostly an self-absorbed asshole. Why’s that?

It seems to be the tone of voice and style that I use when I write in this blog. Also, why the hell did you think there’s a number of puerile toilet humour in this blog? Use your head, asswipe.

Well, shit.

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